Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Adventures in Parenting #12,452

So, with the child home from school today and doing that hibernating vampire thing she does, I decided to brave the perils of her room to check on her around noon. Nearing her coffi...er... bed, I reached out to feel her forehead for abnormal heat radiation when her eye popped open. Just the one eye. It's a little creepy when she does that, kind of like when the neurotic white feline sleeps with her eyes open. Keeping in mind that the child stayed home from school sick, I bit back my shriek of surprise and whispered, "How do you feel?"

"Like a princess," my little gothling murmured, still not entirely awake.

"Like... a princess?" Not entirely sure I understood her correctly and my concerns about high-grade fevers and brains boiling to the point of damage tripling, I pressed for clarification. "How so?" I tentatively touched her flushed forehead and exhaled a sigh of relief when my fingers didn't burst into flames.

"'cause my hair is down and my back hurts."

And people wonder why my brain is always melting. "And... that's like a princess... how?"

"'cause my hair is never down and..." Apparently at a loss for words she started writhing around and making hand gestures, the two most prominent being her forefinger and thumb held apart and her hand jerking around in the air.

My concerns about boiled brain-induced seizures surged. Taking a deep calming breath, I stretch my brain to its not quite furthest limits and grasped. "It feels like you have a pea under your mattress?"

"Yeah. Like that."

"Uh huh. Or maybe because you've been in bed for thirteen..." I paused and recalculated. "...almost fourteen hours?"

She pushed away her blanket and half-rolled away from me to pull a stuffed cat out from under the small of her back. She rolled to her back again and stretched, all the while looking at the stuffed feline like she'd never seen it before.

I bit the inside of my lower lip. She doesn't always appreciate it when I laugh at her. "Or maybe you were just lying on a cat..."

"Maybe." She stretched again and tossed the poor stuffed animal to the side. "Is it lunch time yet? I'm hungry."

Love and bondage,
Rubi Jayne <3<3

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